If I were to follow you around for a week, would I know what you really believe?

That question was recently asked during a homily. I assumed that Fr. Bob would be asking us to consider if we were doing what a good Catholic should be doing — praying, celebrating the Eucharist each week, treating others with care and compassion, etc. I was wrong.

Instead, Fr. Bob asked us to think about all the things we were doing, and then consider what we were professing with our own lives by the choices we make each day. For example, we can't say we are a good student unless they are trying our hardest and doing our best, regardless of grades or class rank. We can say that we value our family, but if we don't spend time with them, then they are just empty words. We may want to help the poor, but end up spending all our money on our own desires, and have nothing left to donate. We may want to pray more, but always end up watching TV instead.

Again, if someone were to follow us around for a week, what would they guess is most important to us? In what do we really believe?

If you were to follow me around, I am afraid you would be confused. There are lots of things in my life that I would be happy to show you—things that would make you think well of me. But there are other things, the things I am ashamed of or embarrassed by, that I try my best to keep out of the public eye.

Remember Matthew's Gospel, when Jesus talks to his disciples about praying:

But when you pray, go to your inner room,
close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.
And your father who sees in secret will repay you. (Matthew 6:6)

Although I am glad that God does not need public displays to hear our prayers, this reading also reminds me that God sees everything that we do. When we are petty, or stubborn, or selfish, God sees us. When we are lazy, or self-righteous, or arrogant, God sees us then too. And when we are really mean, or drink too much, or blow off work on a sunny day, God is still watching.

I think what Fr. Bob was trying to help us see during his homily is that God does see all that we do, all that we think, all that we say. There are things (different for each of us) that hold us back from really living the life of faith and freedom the Jesus offers us, things that hold us back from really embracing the joy that comes from giving our best selves to the world and to God in the same moment.

Darrell Evans writes about this in his song Trading My Sorrows. He says this:

I'm trading my sorrows,
I'm trading my shame;
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.

I'm trading my sickness,
I'm trading my pain;
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord.

We say yes, Lord, yes, Lord, yes, yes, Lord . . .

I wish I knew exactly how and where to trade in my sorrows, but I think it is a life-long process. But this week, at least, I will try to make sure that my "Yes, Lord" is reflected not only in my song, but in my daily life.

Let us pray . . .

This week, Lord, I say yes to kindness, and hope.
I say yes to peace-making, and affectionate hugs.
I say yes to self-management and no to self-loathing
This week, Lord, I say yes to you
And I say yes to your goodness living within me.

Spirit Compass reflections are developed in partnership
with the Center for Ministry Development.