But for God . . .
By Joan Weber
One of the hardest things I've ever done is go to the home of a teenager who had just committed suicide. I arrived a few hours after he had killed himself to support his mother in her grief. I cannot describe for you the pain she was feeling. I would say her heart was truly broken by her son's action. She was drowning in an ocean of tears and grief.
Of course, I was not able to take that mother's pain away. There were no actions or words that would make her feel any better. When I returned home I felt absolutely helpless. I couldn't rescue her, and I so wanted to. I turned to prayer that night, and my eyes were drawn to a wood carving on the wall of my living room — an ebony symbol that my brother brought back from Ghana for me. For the Ghanaian people, the wood symbol has a precious meaning which loosely translates into English as "but for God." And I knew what would save this dear mother from drowning.
But for God, she would give up. But for God, that young boy's family and friends would not be able to go on. But for God, no one would be able to make sense out of his tragic death. But for God, all the people whose hearts are hurting would never have their broken hearts healed. But for God . . .
No one can avoid loss, failure, rejection, or suffering in today's world. And we are tempted to turn to medication, alcohol, busyness, or some other way to make the pain go away — or at least to bury it temporarily. We just cannot bear to suffer . . . but for God.
Two thousand years ago, St. Paul asked, "Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?" (Romans 8:34-35) Today we might add, "Will war or racial hatred or terrorism or fear or suicide or violence or cancer?" St. Paul answers his own question: "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39) God is there for us, and nothing can block God from wrapping us in unconditional love and comfort.
Ken Canedo sang a song of hope in the midst of suffering when he composed Fly Like a Bird. The lyrics speak of surrendering to the power of God's healing love in times of trial and difficulty:
Fly like a bird to the Lord, my soul.
I want to soar like an eagle.
Though I may journey far away from home,
I know I'll never be alone.
. . . In my pondering and fears,
in my joy and in my tears,
O God, your presence is real.
When I am down and afraid,
when I am falling away,
you extend a gentle hand,
and I know you understand.
O God, your presence is real.
Let us pray for the courage to live through our suffering and to trust our hearts to God's loving care:
God of all, thank you for loving me in my brokenness. Help me trust your love for me, so that I can let your love and your care heal my broken heart. But for you, I couldn't make it through the challenges of my life. But for you!
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Spirit Compass reflections are developed in partnership
with the Center for Ministry Development.