Confirming Faith

Have you ever had . . .

a moment of clarity in which you were absolutely certain of God's existence and your place in the world as a child of God?
an encounter with God — in prayer, a sunset, the quiet of your heart — where God's presence was so real that you felt like you could touch God?
an experience of Church that made you feel so connected to God and the whole People of God that you couldn't help but want to imbed yourself within the Church community?
an experience of reconciliation in which you were finally able to believe in God's love for you, and to really believe that you were forgiven for what you thought was unforgivable?

In my 40-something years of life, I have had all of those experiences. I can tell you how old I was, where I was, and how those God-experiences have changed my life. They are that important to me.

And then there are the rest of my days — full of questions, confusion, and a faith that has lots of ebbs and flows. I try to be faithful. I trust in God's love and presence, but it isn't always as real to me as it has been in those brief moments of clarity. I used to struggle with the up-and-down nature of my relationship with God, until a few summers ago when I had the chance to take a weeklong course with sacramental theologian Kenan Osborn.

As we discussed the current practice and theology that surrounds the sacrament of Confirmation, Osborn said something that I really resonated with. He said that he wished that Confirmation wasn't a once-in-a-lifetime sacrament. He wished that it were a sacrament that we sought out in response to the God-experiences of our lives. He asked us to imagine that once every couple of months at Sunday Mass people of all ages would come forward within our community to be confirmed. They might talk about how a God-experience has changed their life or why confirming their faith in this moment is so important to them. How inspiring that would be to all of us, Osborn suggested, if we got to hear about those God-experiences from our friends and neighbors.

God-experiences, those moments of profound understanding, should be a part of our lives. How much less my life and faith would be if I never had them. We need to have those times when we return, as Trevor Thompson sings, to the "shadow of your (God's) wings" (The Return):

I return to you now;
from a far way off you see me.
For open arms I reach out,
only to find that I'm back
in the shadow of your wings.

I wonder, at times, if more people would be open to God-experiences if they were able to see that others around them were experiencing God in new ways. You might stand before the congregation to confirm your faith on the very day I am feeling at my lowest — and your faith might help strengthen mine. And when I confirm my faith, after an especially prayerful Lent or a year of service, I might be a source of hope for someone else. This isn't our current practice of Confirmation; that sacrament has a different place in our Church. But perhaps this imagined experience of Confirmation is an invitation to all of us to talk more about the ebbs and flows of our faith with our friends, family, and especially with our (or someone else's) children. We all need to know that God is present and active in our lives, and to celebrate and share the God moments with each other. They make us stronger.

God, I pray today for . . .

openness — for only then can you come to me God.
quietness — so that I can hear your words.
people of faith — who can teach me so much about You.
patience — during my times of struggle.
grace.

Help me, Lord, to find my way to the shadow of your wings. Amen.

Spirit Compass reflections are developed in partnership
with the Center for Ministry Development.