Random

By Ken Canedo

random - noun: a haphazard course
at random: without definite aim, direction, rule, or method

What happens if you Google "Google?"

So I was having lunch at the seminary, see, and some prankster seminarian goes by our table and shouts out "Proverbs 26:11." Whereupon another seminarian shouts back at him, annoyed: "Not while I'm eating!"

Why do we park in a driveway? And why do we drive in a parkway?

Ever notice that if a priest or minister makes a ceremonial mistake in church, it's ten times funnier than it deserves to be? It's even funnier if the congregation is trying to stifle its laughter.

One Halloween my brother decided to go totally random with the family's candy giveaway. He dressed up as Santa Claus and handed out Easter eggs.

Would you rather hear the song "Happy Birthday" in your head for all eternity or never hear music again?

Okay, I'll bite. Just what did great grandma mean when she said, "You can't have your cake and eat it, too"?

A priest told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my homily, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, at the start of his homily, the priest asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The priest smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my homily on the sin of lying."

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

From last Sunday's church bulletin: "Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones."

Hey, did you hear the Energizer Bunny got arrested? He was charged with battery . . .

The Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think that I can? (Andy Rooney)

It's not just random: Listen to Jesse Manibusan's rap song, MC God. How many points of Catholic doctrine can you identify?