Leaving Home

By Ken Canedo

It will happen eventually and may become a family's most traumatic time. Sooner than later, a child is going to grow up and leave home. And I'm not referring to going off to college. I'm talking about leaving home for good.

Sometimes a grown-up child is going off to a new married life. Other times it might be the prospects of a new job after college or high school graduation. And then there are those teens who just bolt out of the house for no apparent reason. Or so it seems.

As a youth minister, I have counseled parents and young adults as they have walked precariously through the minefield of this transition. I do not take sides; my job is to listen and be supportive. Most of all, I encourage parents and young adults to talk with each other. Communication is important. Things that were left unsaid during childhood or the teen years may remain unsaid for years to come.

There is a lot of compassion that needs to happen on both sides. Parents need to accept that their child is no longer a child, however painful that realization might be. Young adults, while savoring their newfound freedom, need to understand how difficult it is for their parents to let go. Long-ago memories are cherished: birth and babyhood, first steps and first words, soccer games and First Communion. All too soon, the child is an emerging teenager, testing boundaries, discovering the power of friendship and the symbolic independence of passing that driver's test. Nobody said growing up was going to be easy.

The whole point of parenting is for them to release their children into the world as loving and knowledgeable adults, trying to make it on their own as they learn from their mistakes and triumphs. I pray that families today may learn to Live in Love, so that when the time comes for their children to leave home, the transition will be eased by mutual respect and understanding. May the relationships of parents and their young adult children be strengthened and nurtured by our loving Trinitarian God.